


Bad Sales (Wheel and Deal Remix)

by Neverever



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Cars, Flirting, M/M, Roleplay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-28
Updated: 2016-02-28
Packaged: 2018-05-20 15:13:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 996
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6013480
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Neverever/pseuds/Neverever
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve tries to buy a car from Tony who is selling more than cars.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bad Sales (Wheel and Deal Remix)

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Wheeling and Dealing (has been Remixed)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/5869738) by [AnonEhouse](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnonEhouse/pseuds/AnonEhouse). 
  * In response to a prompt by [AnonEhouse](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnonEhouse/pseuds/AnonEhouse) in the [Cap_Ironman_Remix_Madness_2016](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/Cap_Ironman_Remix_Madness_2016) collection. 



> This remix is based on AnonEhouse's Wheeling and Dealing. I changed the circumstances for why Steve goes to Tony to buy a car, but kept Tony's salesmanship. 
> 
> Thanks to the beta, armsplutonic, for the help.

Steve took a deep breath and tugged down his blue t-shirt. It had been a long day already and he wasn’t sure he was up for this entirely. He had never bought a car before, used or new. And he didn’t know where to start. 

Decked out in his most obnoxious suit, the car salesman smiled brightly at him. Steve immediately despised the suit – a shiny purple-striped one with matching purple sunglasses – on principle. “So, are you looking to buy a car? What are you interested in?” the man asked. He looked at Steve over the top of his sunglasses.

“Um, something reliable? That I can use to get to work?” Steve responded. He rubbed the back of his neck. The salesman had a toothy smile plastered to his face. Dark, thick hair styled into spikes, with a few stray hairs escaping the gelled masterpiece. Then there was that complicated goatee ...…

“I’m Tony, by the way,” the man said, holding his hand out to shake Steve’s. “A reliable car, right.”

“At a reasonable price.”

“We have all sorts of cars at reasonable prices.” Tony gave Steve an appraising look. “We here at Stark’s Gently Used Motors are here to find you the right car for the right price.”

“Good,” Steve replied. “I was thinking a Honda Civic –“

Tony laughed. “You don’t strike me as a Civic guy – could you even fit into one?” His gaze raked Steve up and down. It didn’t strike Steve as entirely innocent. “Hmm, you are one tall drink of water.”

Steve ran his hand through his hair and groaned inwardly. This wasn’t exactly what he signed up for. But he needed a car and tried to recall the script he had worked out before coming. “Just show me the Civics. Or Accords or Camrys.”

“An All-American Boy like you should be in an American muscle car,” Tony told him. “Like a Corvette.”

“I just want a reliable car to get me to work.” Steve noticed the other man’s red and white high-top sneakers. They clashed luridly with his suit. Everything about Tony seemed designed to get under Steve’s skin. He wasn’t sure yet if that was a good or a bad thing. Maybe a mixture of both.

“Live a little! Let’s look at something that’ll give you a smooth and powerful ride. Lots of horsepower in the engine. Something that will go for miles.”

Steve quirked an eyebrow. “Are you sure you’re selling me a car?”

“Now, Isn’t that what you’re here for? Mr. -- ?”

“Steve. My name is Steve.”

“Great, Steve. Like I said, we have many cars here. All in good condition and ready to drive right off the lot.”

“Then just show me a reliable, reasonably priced car.”

Tony stepped closer to Steve, who was completely aware of how close his body was. Despite the terrible suit, Tony was a gorgeous man, as the tingles on Steve’s skin warned him. “Wasn’t that what we were talking about? All my cars are completely reliable and they always perform as advertised.”

“Well, um, I haven’t heard many good things about used cars or used car salesmen.”

Tony gestured widely at himself. “I’ve never had any complaints about my cars or my salesmanship. I’m good at what I do.”

“And what is that, exactly?” If Steve wanted to, he could reach out and take that gaudy suit coat right off Tony. He wondered what Tony would do if he did. Then Steve felt guilty for even thinking that way. But Tony would look so much better without the clothes. So much better.

“Sell cars,” Tony said. He flashed a smile at Steve. “Among other things.”

“Like what things?”

Tony laughed softly and gave Steve a heated look. “Service plans, for one.”

Steve wished he hadn’t worn these particular jeans since they were tight to begin with and getting tighter as the night wore on. “Let’s stick to cars.”

“I forgot to ask – automatic or manual?”

“What?” Steve asked, genuinely confused. 

“Nothing like driving stick shift – put your hand on that stick and you can drive that car anywhere.”

Steve facepalmed. “Tony ….” he groaned, “that was awful.” He started laughing.

“Hey! I’m trying to seduce you here. Don’t ruin the mood,” Tony said indignantly.

Laughing harder, Steve barely choked out, “With lines like that, Tony, there’s no mood to ruin.” Steve sat down on the bed.

Tony flopped down next to him. “I used my most inspired used car salesman lines on you.” He poked at Steve.

Steve wiped the tears from his eyes. Then he laughed even harder. “Stick shift. For driving cars,” he gasped. 

“Among other things,” Tony added as he joined in Steve’s laughter. “I admit, roleplaying Car Buyer and Car Salesman might not have been the best option tonight.”

Steve shifted onto his side and kissed Tony’s forehead. “It wasn’t too bad. Until the stick shift comment.”

“I mean, I could have suggested another scenario. Like Pizza Delivery Guy and Hungry Homeowner.”

Steve reached over to tug off Tony’s offending suit coat. “It’s been a long day, Tony. I know we planned this, but that was before this morning’s robot attack and the afternoon debrief. Maybe just a movie and pizza in bed would be good tonight.” Giving up on the coat, he slid his arm around Tony’s waist and nuzzled Tony’s neck.

Tony squeezed Steve’s arm. “Yeah. That sounds good.” Nudging Steve off, he sat up. “How about naked pizza eating and movie watching?” He smiled wickedly at Steve.

“Yes. Anything to get you out of that suit,” Steve said.

“Well, that was the point – to get you to rip the suit off.”

“Although I appreciate the tactics, I’m not so sure the strategy was sound,” Steve said. 

Tony chuckled and poked Steve. “That gives me an idea. How about we try General and Private next time?” 

Steve threw a couple pillows at Tony, who laughed and ducked. “No? Okay, I can work on it. But pizza first!”


End file.
